You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
how drunk are you?
Several
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize