is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
