Do you still have your period?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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