i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
