you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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