It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
