It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
