they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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