He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so let's talk penis.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
