i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize