why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
