Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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