We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Everyone says I win the strip club
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
