i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
