You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
