i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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