The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
