do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Send help, water and tortillas.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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