very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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