I just cut my nipple shaving
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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