i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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