Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i out mim tonsoeep
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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