I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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