Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
