hotel room ftw
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
