shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"it" just moved
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
