I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize