i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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