Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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