youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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