Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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