I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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