I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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