Umm I'm too high to move.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
