he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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