You're my little dorito
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
