He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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