we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
