Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
