that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
