Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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