Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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