You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
