Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
