We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
