You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
