i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
