You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize