Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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