I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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