I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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