it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
