Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
