Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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