I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
50% drunk capacity currently
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
