You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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