nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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