He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
