we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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