So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
