Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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