Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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