I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
